eHarmony…the least creepy of all of the online dating sites…or so I’ve heard.
I go through the steps to fill out a profile being as honest as possible because, hey, I’m new in town…what do I have to lose at this point? Add a few photos, reluctantly hand over my credit card info and poof! my likes, interests and life goals are now visible to single men within a 60 mile radius of me.
…I try to forget the fact that I am paying to be matched up with men because I don’t even know where to begin meeting people anymore and its been more than 6 months since my last long-term relationship went down in EPIC flames and its about time I get back out there…
I’m matched with 6 guys right from the start. I could get into this. Some are attractive. Some seem intelligent. Some have good jobs. Some seem like they just crawled out of their mother’s basement where they’ve been surfing the deep web for illegal porn….
If you don’t know how eHarmony works, I’ll give you a brief little rundown:
- Fill out profile
- Get matches
- Decide if matches look appealing
- Pursue conversation
Now, on eHarmony, you can choose to skip right to the conversation part or you can follow their “guided communication” first. Being new to the world of online dating, I needed all of the guidance they had to offer.
You start by asking them 5 close-ended questions. They come from a list with multiple-choice answers or an option to write your own answer. The questions range from “How often do you find yourself laughing?” to “What are your feelings about premarital sex?” Side note: WHY in God’s name would that EVER be the first question you ask someone? Unless you want to get straight down to business…in which case…what are my feelings? I digress…
Anyway, you each have a chance to ask and answer each other’s questions before sending you list of “Makes or Breaks.” In a nutshell, its a bullshit list about what you like and don’t like in a partner. Ladies, how many times have we overlooked something on our “Breaks” list because we were blinded by love or consumed with infatuation? Exactly…the lists are crap…
After the “Makes or Breaks” are sent, you get to send “Dig Deeper” questions (insert joke about how I’d love a man to be “digging deeper” right now). These questions are more in-depth and they give the person you are chatting with a chance to be more descriptive and ask questions that aren’t so cheesy like “Why did you sign up for eHarmony?” or “What are you looking for in a partner?”
Once you get through all of those steps, your “relationship” then escalates to eHarmony Mail. Its email. You email back and forth, decide if you want to pursue things further, exchange numbers and then you can text/call. The whole process to get to talking to one person could take a few days, a week or even longer. It depends on how quickly each of you respond.
Its a good thing and a bad thing. I’ve been single for more than 6 months and its preventing me from jumping too quickly at an opportunity for a man to take me to dinner and tell me I’m pretty…wait a second…why would I want to wait on that? No, but in all seriousness it starts things slowly and I’m in the public eye so I need to be extra careful. As a woman, I’m always careful. As a woman on TV, you can never be TOO cautious. There are a lot of creeps out there, ladies. Take it from me. But it just feels like a never-ending process to actually get the conversation going.
So I go through all of the steps and finally get to chatting. Enter guy #1…