I get together with a group of girlfriends from work on a Saturday afternoon. A few beers later…and against my better judgement…they have successfuly convinced me and I have downloaded Tinder on my phone.
In case you have been living under a rock and don’t know how Tinder works:
- Upload photos of yourself
- Write short, sarcastic and quippy bio about yourself
- Set age range for matches
- Set search radius for matches
- Start swiping
Swipe left: Not interested. Swipe right: Interested.
If two people swipe right on each other “Congratulations, its a match!”
You can now start messaging over the app.
Tinder has a bad reputation for being a trashy hook-up app. It is…and it isn’t. There are a few diamonds in the ruff in there but HOLY HELL does it take a while and a lot of swiping to actually find them.
I’m discouraged by the amount of pure scumbags I initially come across.
Enter Tinder Match #1 as prime example:
“How’s it going future ex girlfriend?”
Really? THAT’S his opening line? Who in their right freaking mind would ever even consider dating a man who starts a conversation that way?
Must. Not. Respond. To. Cocky. Asshole. Must. Resist. Urge.
Its too late. My fingers have already started typing. I blame the beers.
“Well…someone’s awfully confident.”
“Well we do end up breaking up sooooo”
“How sad for YOU.”
“Oh I agree. Seems like I’m missing out.”
“You’re planning our inevitable breakup already purely based on the notion that I would even go out with you in the first place.”
“So you’re saying you wouldn’t?”
“Given your appalling opening line…no.”
I end up matched with a few more guys. Some of them send me messages and some don’t. I leave the bar and call it an evening.
I start questioning my sanity. Why did I ever download this app? How could anything good ever come out of this? I go home and consider just deleting it.
Until I get a message from Tinder Match #2…