The trouble with Tinder

I get together with a group of girlfriends from work on a Saturday afternoon.  A few beers later…and against my better judgement…they have successfuly convinced me and I have downloaded Tinder on my phone.

In case you have been living under a rock and don’t know how Tinder works:

  1. Upload photos of yourself
  2. Write short, sarcastic and quippy bio about yourself
  3. Set age range for matches
  4. Set search radius for matches
  5. Start swiping

Swipe left: Not interested.  Swipe right: Interested.

If two people swipe right on each other “Congratulations, its a match!”

You can now start messaging over the app.

Tinder has a bad reputation for being a trashy hook-up app.  It is…and it isn’t.  There are a few diamonds in the ruff in there but HOLY HELL does it take a while and a lot of swiping to actually find them.

I’m discouraged by the amount of pure scumbags I initially come across.

Enter Tinder Match #1 as prime example:

“How’s it going future ex girlfriend?”

Really?  THAT’S his opening line?  Who in their right freaking mind would ever even consider dating a man who starts a conversation that way?

Must. Not. Respond. To. Cocky. Asshole. Must. Resist. Urge.

Its too late.  My fingers have already started typing.  I blame the beers.

“Well…someone’s awfully confident.”

“Well we do end up breaking up sooooo”

“How sad for YOU.”

“Oh I agree.  Seems like I’m missing out.”

“You’re planning our inevitable breakup already purely based on the notion that I would even go out with you in the first place.”

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t?”

“Given your appalling opening line…no.”

Unmatch.  Gross.

I end up matched with a few more guys.  Some of them send me messages and some don’t.  I leave the bar and call it an evening.

I start questioning my sanity.  Why did I ever download this app?  How could anything good ever come out of this?  I go home and consider just deleting it.

Until I get a message from Tinder Match #2…

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