From red hot to ice cold

Where do I even begin?  I had high hopes with “Mike.”  Things seemed to be going so well.  He invited me to his friend’s engagement party, I met all of his friends, he came over and cooked me dinner.  I was starting to honestly feel like this could turn into something serious.  Could I actually have found my perfect match on Tinder of all places?

The answer: A big, fat NOPE.

Ready for quite the story?  I hope so.

“Mike” and I had tentative plans to get together on a Thursday night.  He is starting a brand new job on Monday and has to get a lot of things in order the week beforehand, so our conversations are short and we aren’t texting as much.  I am a very understanding person.  Working in local television, I probably understand the stress of a new job better than anyone else.  You want to start of strong right out of the gate and make a good first impression.  You can always be replaced by someone younger or better looking for less money, so the thought is always in the back of your mind that I need to go above and beyond what is required of me to make sure I’m getting noticed and I’m making people watch.  I get it.  I’ve had 3 different jobs in television in 3 different states.  I’ve uprooted my life several times.  Its stressful.

After not hearing from him all day Thursday, I text him and ask what he’s thinking for that night.  Keep in mind, we are, at this point, about 3 weeks into our little dating adventure.  His responses are short.  He doesn’t seem like he’s putting forth an effort so I send him this:

“Listen, I know how hard it is to start a new job and I know how much you are worrying about Monday so if you can’t get together or don’t want tonight, we can reschedule.”

I’m officially too nice of a person.  I’m genuine.  To a point where I sometimes think its a fault.  I give people the benefit of the doubt too much, especially in situations surrounding my romantic life.  Eventually, I’ll find someone who can appreciate that.

Anyway, “Mike” sends me back this long diatribe about how he is struggling to compartmentalize his life and he is afraid of being distracted from his new job because he could see something serious developing between the two of us.

Okay, so we’re on the same page.  He’s also thinking that this could turn into something.  We chat on the phone for a bit because having those conversations over text NEVER goes well.  I wanted to know what he was thinking and gauge his feelings.  He claimed he was an honest person and said he prides himself on honesty because he would rather be open and up-front and maybe hurt someone’s feelings early on than lead a woman on and end up hurting her down the road.  I respect that.  A lot, actually.

He asks if we can slow things down.  There it was.  The other shoe.  Through this entire dating process, I had it in the back of my mind that he was too good to be true.  SOMETHING was wrong with him.  There had to be.  No one gets wrapped up in a whirlwind romance that quickly, right?  I tried not to search for the faults and focus on the good that was in front of me.  But my intuition was right.  I waited for the other shoe to drop, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised when it finally did.

Slow things down.

I still feel like there is something between us, so I oblige.  He asks if we can meet up for breakfast in the morning so he can see me.  He’s saying all of the right things.  So…I say “yes.”

We meet for breakfast at a restaurant near downtown.  He kisses my cheek to greet me and we eat a fantastic meal with great conversation again.  He is resting his hand on my thigh, telling me I’m beautiful and once again, saying everything I wanted to hear.  This was going to work.  We continued to spend some time together after breakfast.  I’m sparing the details because I am, after all, a lady.  But it was great.  We parted ways and continued to text a little bit that afternoon but I got tied up at work and had to come home, go straight to bed, and get back to work by 4AM so it was a rough night for me.

Saturday was radio silence.  I didn’t push it because I knew he had to read some books for work and finish up some paperwork to prepare for his first day of his new job.  I let it go.  Which was hard because we had talked EVERY DAY up until that point.

Sunday rolls around.  Nothing.  Sunday night, I shoot him a quick text that says:

“Just wanted to wish you luck on your first day tomorrow!  I hope your new job is everything you were hoping for and more.  Can’t wait to hear how awesome your first day goes!”

Short.  Sweet.  To the point.  I went out of my way to wish him luck.  Still…nothing.

Monday afternoon, I’m sitting at work discussing the sequence of events with a co-worker.  He thinks I should get rid of “Mike.”  He makes a valid point that it takes 30 seconds to respond to a text message.  Even when you are busy.  And who doesn’t take their phone with them everywhere these days?  I go home after work and think…I’ll give him until tomorrow.  Maybe.

Tuesday morning, we’re still in radio blackout.  I had deleted Tinder off my phone after a conversation that “Mike” and I had about how by the 3rd or 4th date, we’re in it to see how things progress so what’s the point of Tinder still being there?  It has now been 4 days since the last time we talked.

I grab Tinder off my cloud.  Out of pure curiosity, I click on his profile because we are still matched and I see:

Active: 21 minutes ago.

Wow.  So you have time to dick around on Tinder but can’t spare a few seconds out of your day to thank me for wishing you luck on your first day of your new job?!

What.  An.  Ass.

I was done.  I sent him one last message that read:

“Hey.  I haven’t heard from you in a few days.  I hope everything is okay.  When we talked last week, I didn’t think that ‘slowing things down’ meant you cutting me off completely.  I deserve more than that and I’m too good for it.”

Still nothing.  No response.  So that was it.  I clearly made the right call.  He got what he wanted from me and shut it down to most likely move on to the next.

I fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.  I was a little hurt but realized that I deserve better.  I’m a catch.  I know I am.  I just need to find someone who appreciates that.  He has to be out there somewhere, right?

Back to the interwebs for more online dating adventures.  (Insert eye roll)

Here we go again…


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