Let’s NOT talk about sex…

I seriously CANNOT make this stuff up.  I am rolling my eyes and honestly questioning my life choices with this whole online dating thing.  Do you have your popcorn ready?  Here’s the latest:

Newest Tinder match – a man named “Jim.”  “Jim” is attractive in his photos and we chat via Tinder message for a couple of days before exchanging numbers.  He’s cute.  He’s very athletic and tells me he coaches cross country for a local area college.  The conversation starts off slow, which is how I prefer it.

I am OVERLY cautious about everything I do online.  That’s why this blog is anonymous and why I’ve changed the names of all those involved in my dating disasters.  I’m here to tell stories and have you all question my sanity while protecting my reputation and avoiding damage to others.

“Jim” and I text back and forth all weekend.  He’s sweet.  We talk about likes and dislikes and get into a little bit about each other’s past.  The generic questions: Where did you grow up?  Where did you go to school?  Interests outside of work?  On Sunday evening, he asks me to dinner or out for drinks on Monday.  He sounds great and I think we may hit it off.  He’s funny and complimenting me and seems genuinely interested in my life and what I do for a living.  I’m equally interested in his, too.

The conversation goes from this:

“Are you really this adorable or am I crazy?  You seem to sweet.”

To this:

Well bend over.  Take my dick please.”

I just have one question….ummmmmmmm WHAT?!

Somewhere during the duration of our text convo he says “I like to have fun.”  My response was “Me, too!  Who doesn’t?”  Little did I know that those 4 words would open up the metaphorical floodgates of dirty talk and awkward sexting.  On his end.  Not mine.

I have NEVER met this man.  We have been talking for 2 DAYS.  I know nothing about him besides what he has chosen to tell me and the little bit of info I was able to find by creeping on the Internet (I work in news.  We’re all naturally curious.  Don’t judge me).

Can we, oh I don’t know, NOT talk about sex after not even ever meeting in person?  Hell, I’d like to see if we are even compatible before we even put that out there on the table.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe intimacy is a huge part of any relationship, but I met this guy on Tinder.  TINDER!  We have yet to meet face-to-face and he’s telling me to bend over and take it?  Mind you, all of this after he tells me he’s looking for a classy girl…yeah, okay.

Why the complete 180 degree turn?  I’m not 100% innocent in this whole ordeal but I DO NOT have conversations like this with people I don’t know.  I’m hesitant to even have them with people I do actually know.  I was flirting with him.  I was being cute and coy and evasive.

He didn’t just straddle the line of harmless flirting/creeper status…he launched himself over it like he was being shot from a cannon.

Honestly, I was disturbed.  I still am as I sit here and write this blog entry.  I’m a public figure.  I have certain standards and rules.  There are thing I will absolutely not talk about over text messages.  Especially with someone I have never met.  He seemed understanding about that…at first.  What happened?

Part of me is hoping that I get a message from him in the morning saying “I’m so mortified!  My asshole friends took my phone.”  But at this point, that’s nothing but wishful thinking.

Did I get played?  Catfished?  Was he doing it for a laugh?  Why go through all of the effort of getting to know me before flipping the switch?  He works at a local college.  He should be held to a higher standard.

I refuse to be just a piece of ass to someone.  I thought I made that clear from the beginning.  He told me he was looking forward to meeting me Monday and was determined to make me his girlfriend.  He said I would fall for him and that was his goal.  Was he honestly just telling me what I wanted to hear?

Can any of the men reading this blog chime in with some insight here?  W-T-F did I just go through?

He seemed so normal at first.  I guess they all do.  And I now officially hate Tinder.  It has caused me nothing but headaches and mildly entertaining blog entries.

Are there any NORMAL guys left out there?  Or have they been replaced by sex-crazed assholes?

There is not enough wine in the world….